BLAM!

I like being alone.

I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.

I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.

But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with his or her best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.

(Source: buddhacoffee, via coffeeandphazon)

• Rich White Lady #1: Did you leave your girls with your nanny or their grandparents?
• Rich White Lady #2: My parents. We let Tamara go last year and I'm not ready to let Amanda have the girls for a whole holiday weekend.
• RWL #1: Why did you let Tamara go? I thought you loved her.
• RWL #2: Oh yeah she's wonderful. We gave her great references and a LOT of severence pay.
• RWL #1: What was the problem?
• RWL #2: Well (lowers voice) it just didn't seem right having a black nanny after we saw The Help and all.
• RWL #1: Oh I know what you mean. We almost started looking for a white housekeeper after Obama won the election.

fuckyeahfitspiration:

Reblogs only, no likes, must be following me!

you’ve got 12 hours!

goooo

I guess being sad is better than being dead

For me, being gay has never been something I’ve tried to hide. I don’t necessarily make a show of it all the time, which is different. Sure, I play it up, but only to the right people.

There are people in this world who we all know can’t or won’t take the idea of someone or something being outside the norm. In some places, even having a different accent is cause for alienation to these people because it’s not what they’re accustomed to. While that’s okay for them (or so they think), it isn’t for everyone.

Feeling victimized is a hard thing to accept, because humans by nature (and regardless if you deny it, I speak from experience and extensive observations when I say this) all want to love and be loved and accepted. Some are more open than others, and this (directed at me in my past) is labeled as being a “sissy” or “queer.”

Now where I live now, I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with enough diversity and general self-interest among the populace to not be under constant scrutiny, but my life has not always given me circumstances that serendipitous. I’ve contemplated suicide because of these situations before, and lucky for me, I was given an out before things got really bad.

Growing up I realized that not everyone’s gonna like you, and that’s okay. Not everyone has to.

But being here at the beach with my aunt and my sister and our mutual friend (and a couple other guests I wasn’t aware of, almost all of them relatives), I realized that for me, those philosophies crumble. Because with them, I AM scared. And with them, I feel ashamed to be around them. Not because of who I am, but because I feel I can’t be honest with them without a monster rearing its ugly head.

Whether they know or not is none of my concern. As I said, I don’t exactly make a big effort hiding it. But, whereas I would in normal circumstances, I also don’t make an effort to put it out there.

Why? Because I love them, because they’re my family. And because I don’t want to lose them over something that really shouldn’t be worth a damn to them at all.

Only one aunt knows, and from the looks of it, she’s only recently really come to terms with it. She actually makes jokes with me about men, which made me feel good. I didn’t feel like I had to live a double life for her sake.

I realize I’ve been rambling, but it’s been on my mind for a few hours now and roaming or not, I’m going to use the data it will take to post this. Because if anything, I want to look back and see this post to help me remember how human I am, and how much of a change I need to make in my life. Because I am not ashamed of who I am, and I shouldn’t let any circumstance make me feel that way.

dream-seeker:

blackrockeden:

Toonami will be airing sailor moon during the week at eight pm.

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IS THIS TRUE I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please tell me this is real life.